


Cause For Alarm

by karlurbvns



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Emotional Hurt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt Bones, M/M, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:35:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10995669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karlurbvns/pseuds/karlurbvns
Summary: Did Leonard ever think what it would do to Jim if he died? Did he not realize how much he meant to Jim?Apparently not.





	Cause For Alarm

"Target their signal, beam them back right now!" Captain Jim Kirk's order was clear. That's what the training had taught him to do; remain calm and in control, so that the other crew didn't panic, even when there were lives on the line. To the rest of the crew on the bridge of the Enterprise, Jim appeared in control of the situation. What the training hadn't taught Jim, was how to do it when it was Leonard's live was about to end.  
Leonard McCoy was still alive. But in less than ten seconds, he wouldn't be. Jim had already accepted that. With each second that passed, Jim felt his chest constrict. Breathing seemed too much to handle right now.  
Leonard was dying, and there wasn't anything Jim could do about it. The crew were looking to him for answers. Fingers hovered above buttons, ready to beam back Carol Marcus on command. Jim heard her screeches through the communication channel.  
"No!" She screamed. "You beam me back, he dies!"

  
The timer had been put up on the main view screen, the numbers large and threatening. Jim wanted to be there with him. He wanted to abandon the ship, and beam down to Leonard, even if it resulted in his own death.  
Uhura's gaze pierced Jim so sharply, it was painful. Just another reminder than Leonard would soon be dead. His heart would cease beating, and his body obliterated.  
Jim was the fucking captain, he needed to be aware. He couldn't just fall apart like this?  
"Shit!" Carol screamed.  
A loud whirring and winding of mechanics could be heard through the comm, followed by a soft crackling. Jim dazed out of consciousness, unable to stay lucid.  
He was the fucking captain, he needed to be aware. He couldn't just fall apart like this?  
The next voice was Spock's. "Deactivation successful."  
This last piece of information was too much for Jim. He felt his knees give in, and he lent forwards onto to the helm console. His hands smacking down on several of the buttons and screens, which blipped indignantly.

  
Scared that he would faint if he looked up, Jim bowed his head, his eyes closing momentarily. Uhura placed her hand lightly on his shoulder. Jim was grateful no one spoke to him as thick sour bile rose in his throat.  
Leonard had almost been dead.  
Jim allowed himself to breathe again, his lungs appreciative of the inflow of oxygen. Relief washed over him in dizzying waves.  
Then came the anger.

************

"Captain Kirk?"  
Jim wheeled around to see a tiny ensign exiting the turbolift.  
"What is it?" He said, a little more abruptly than he meant.  
"Oh, Dr McCoy is in medical-"  
But Jim was already in the turbolift. Usually, Jim didn't even notice it's gentle hum, but for some reason it seemed louder than usual. And it irked him. To his dismay, the humming continued when he exited the lift on B deck. It was more of an incessant ringing in his ears.  
Jim couldn't get to the medbay quick enough. His stomach still thick nausea, he almost paused as he reached the doors. His legs ached as he thought about running in the opposite direction. Maybe Jim hadn't heard correctly. Maybe Leonard had died. Maybe there was just a body. Had Jim just heard what he wanted to hear?

  
Jim forced himself to walk through into the medbay. It appeared empty at first. But a second hazy glance around the room revealed a mop of brunette hair and the unmistakable slouch. Swallowing an acidic lump in his throat, Jim crossed the medbay. Not daring to believe it, Jim stopped short of Leonard, and he found it difficult to breathe again.  
"Bones." Jim said, unsure if it was meant to be a statement or a question.  
Leonard looked up upon realization he wasn't alone.  
"Jim." The usual stiffness in his voice was replaced by a gentle urgency. "Jim you need to look inside those torpedos."  
Leonard's request fell on deaf ears as Jim's gaze lowered. Leonard was cradling his left arm. The material of his jumpsuit was ripped just below the shoulder. Blood seeped through the skin and dribbled onto Leonard's hand that was cradling his arm. 

  
"You're hurt."  
"I'm alive." Leonard said darkly.  
_Alive._ It should have been enough for Jim, but it wasn't. It had been close. Far too fucking close.  
"I'm not looking at any torpedo until your arm is seen to."  
"I'll do it myself." Leonard said, but Jim had already crossed the room to get supplies.  
"There's no way I'm letting you near me with those sausages you call fingers." Leonard said once Jim had returned, bandages, antiseptic and scissors in hand.  
"That's not very polite, Bones." Jim said. "Besides, I only failed first aid twice. This time I'm much more confident."  
Leonard's scowl was almost enough to make Jim smile. "Now hold still and don't make a fuss." Jim said, as he picked up the scissors.  
"Bones, you've made an absolute fucking mess of this. I'm going to have to cut the sleeve off."  
Leonard didn't protest, but muttered something about needing his arm amputated after Jim was through with him.

  
Jim cut the thick jumpsuit material, being as careful as he could to not knock or bump the punctured skin.  
The antiseptic however, stung. The torpedo had punctured just below the left deltoid, leaving a distinct gash. It wasn't in need of any dire medical attention. As Jim bandaged, he could feel Leonard's gaze on him. Cheeks flushing red, Jim worked as quickly as he could without sacrificing the end result.  
As Jim finished, he tugged a little too hard on the bandage that was now wrapped securely around Leonard's arm. He winced slightly.  
"Oh sorry. Did that hurt?" Jim asked, barely recognizing the bitter voice that had passed through his lips.

  
_Jesus Jim, why so fucking hostile,_ Jim thought to himself.   
Leonard was alive, so what was there to be fucking miserable about.  
"Are you okay Jim?" Leonard asked, straightening up slightly.  
Muttering something inaudible, Jim's glance fell to the floor.  
"What was that?"  
"I said." Jim started. "You should have let me go."  
He couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs, his body itched with anger and frustration.  
Leonard shifted his weight, eyes narrowing. "And let you blow yourself up? Dr Marcus asked for the steadiest-"  
"I don't give a damn what Dr Marcus asked for." Jim snapped, oblivious to the fact that spit was flying out of his mouth. "I-we almost lost you today. You almost died."  
"But I didn't Jim. I'm fine."  
"No it's not fine." Jim took a step back. "I'm the captain of this ship. My crew, my responsibility. And that includes you."  
"Yes I know that but-"  
"No you don't know, Bones!" Jim shouted, his voice echoing around the med bay. "You don't even know how much you-"  
But Jim faltered. The words drowning in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

_You don't know how much you mean to me._

  
Jim had always been careful. He'd had to. Always careful to not look at Leonard for too long or say anything compromising. Or get too close. Always keeping a secure distance. Jim valued Leonard more than anything. There was no way he was going to jeopardize their friendship now.  
Jim couldn't bring himself to look at Leonard, afraid the doctor would be able to see it in his eyes. He turned away and busied himself with packing up the supplies on a nearby tray.  
Why'd he have to fuck it up now? All those years keeping himself in check for fucking nothing.

  
Jim flinched as a hand touched his shoulder.  
"I know Jim." Leonard said. "Trust me I know."  
Warmth radiated through Jim's body, from the touch he so desperately craved. It made Jim angry, that someone else could have this effect on him. It made him feel weak and exposed. Wriggling out of Leonard's grip, Jim turned around.  
"I need to get back to the bridge" Jim said, not able to quite meet Leonard's eyes. "Get yourself sorted and I'll be back down soon for the torpedoes."  
Leonard's dark brown eyes searching Jim's for answers. Answers that Jim wasn't ready to give, not yet.  
"Jim." Leonard began softly, but the Captain was already halfway to the door.


End file.
